Many people live their lives in the past or they are worried about future, so as a result they forget to enjoy the present moments and be thankful for everything they have.But, in some moment, they start to think in a different way and want to change something in their lives.
Gordana Panajotovic, well knownTrainer, Life and Business Coach, explains our readers how is this working.
“God has a different path for each of us. Sometimes it’s something unexpected, which completely changes our view of the world… sometimes it’s the loss of a beloved one, when we are taken from the comfort of the present moment and our life is painted with colors ofdeep loss and pain… sometimes it is a fall into the abyss of hopelessness and rebirth again – the so-called phoenix syndrome… sometimes it is a moment when we are faced with the disease which threatens to wipe us off the earth… and sometimes it is simply the experience, wisdom and knowledge that happiness isn’t in material things outside of ourselves, but in our thoughts and understanding of the world around us.
We wonder for years in search of that no reachable happinessand then suddenly we realize that it has been sitting on our shoulder all the way, patiently awaiting the moment of our discovery that happiness is within us. For wherever we go, we are takingourselves with us. If we got up from the bed and went to work in a bad mood, we won’t give our best at work place, known as the happiness and fulfillment of natural light, which captivates all around us. If we went to holiday, angry and unhappy, imposing mountains and green valleys will not make us happy, we will not meet the love of nature, nor will sun bring a smile that warms us and irresistibly luring us into its arms. If we are sad and unhappy, happiness is not living there. The forest is deserted, while river of sorrow bleak landscapes of our moods. Where is happiness, there is a joy and cheerful whispering and powerful stars are shining in the sky during the day and at night. The happiness you feel so firm in yourself, brings into your lives handful of unexpected surprises and color your life with colors of joy and pleasant feelings.“
When talking about clients and how to support them in changing their way of thinking, Gordana Panajotovic said:
“Experiences with clients are very much different. From those who are facing change and have a conscious desire to make a positive shift in their life, to those who are running away from any kind of honest introspection and fundamental change. It’s not easy to get out of the comfort zone, no matter how uncomfortable it felt. Somehow we feel familiar comfort. Scientifically explained, our emotional brain is also supportingus to stay in status quo.
It takes strength and courage to make that step into the unknown, to discover ourself, then understanding, acceptance and change. What are our thoughts, this is our life – we all know that very well and yet many of us resist changing thoughts and changing the waywe are reacting to external circumstances. Do our thoughts throw us out of balance or we see something good in everything we face? Do we know how to laugh in the face of life when it slaps us or we tend to condemn the judgment, with the question “Why me?” Do you wake up with a smile and gratitude for another wonderful day in your life or you wake up reluctantly with the thoughts that fulfill our day with discontent and hard living? What is important to know is that there is a choice and that choice is always ours, no matter how we may ascribe it to all sorts of circumstances, or better yet, the people in our close environment. When we realize that the responsibility for creating our lives is in us, only then we will find peace and the essence of our existence on the earth.
The good news in all of this, is that pessimism is something we learned and so it became our habit, as predominantly negative way of thinking. Well, what is good in there? Since we know that any habit can be changed and that the power is in our thoughts and way of thinking, the conclusion is that optimism can be learned if we are open enough to work on it by ourselves or with the support of a professional Life coach.”
I asked Gordana: ”Why is it the hardest to start from ourselves and usually we would like to change others rather than ourselves?”
“Why should we be changed, when we are perfect just as we are”, often we are deceiving ourselves, while also not believing in that subjective truth. It is easier for world to adapt to us, then for us to adapt to the world. Well, we are ready to defend the colors of our flag and the battle with the interlocutors, by entering into a conflict from which we expect to come out as winners, because we managed to impose ourselves as someone who is better in handling the words and imaginary facts. So, often we forget that we have no right to change the others and expect the change all around us, without changes in us. We are forgetting that the world will completely change, when the change is done within us. The major message is that we can change only ourselves and nobody else.
However, it is not easy to look at that wonderful inner self and find out what we really are, with all the virtues and flaws. It’s not easy to meet the real “I”, who is wandering between light and dark. It isn’t easy… and because of that, we are directing our magic wand more often to the people in our environment, rather than to ourselves. World is not our creation, but we are a part of the world. When we realize that, we realize that we need to adjust ourselves to anything different compared to our unique “I”. Customization, to the extent of comfort and ease of our existence, is needed. Customizing, which never tires and doesn’t hurt, but brings us into the necessary balance with our external environment. We’re not the center of the world, but we are part of a larger and more significant plan, in which there is room for all of us with a different view of the world, love, people, community, business, friendship, happiness, or power…
When we allow everyone to be themselves, only then we will discover the true tranquility and peace with ourselves. And, all of us strivestoward this, isn’t it so?“
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