Living our best life possible is a fluctuating process. Determination of the ‘best life’, for each of us, is based upon many factors.
Our values and attitude, as well as our life situation, contribute to the definition of our ‘best life’ aspirations.
In a state of apparent health, how we describe our best life may be quite different from when illness or disease has taken hold.
Those of us facing financial challenges might see our best life as having a roof over our heads and food on the table, while others who are financially secure could describe the best life quite differently.
For my first article contribution to Heart and Soul, I offer the following story about a man I worked with who was fighting to survive cancer and subsequently passed away, peacefully, in his home, surrounded by family.
The story was initially written in early 2000, after the man’s first experience with Healing Touch, an energy based therapy. A few, small changes have been made to the original article.
I had just said my farewells to a client when the phone rang. “Healing Resources”, I answered. “Do you really think what you do can help me?”, the man asked. I took a deep breath and replied, “yes, I do.” Without hesitation he then said, “I would like you to come over here to the hospital and do it for me.” We agreed on an evening visit and I hung up the phone. Stunned, I sat there wondering what had made this man change his mind about experiencing Healing Touch. Perhaps it was his wife’s persistence in asking him to let me work on him. The work had helped her in so many situations; acute low back pain, before and after surgery, to help reduce the discomfort from a fractured arm and heal more quickly; she was certain it would help him as well.
The man had lung cancer. He was 73 years old. He was a retired iron worker due to a traumatic injury to his neck and shoulder 10 years prior. Diagnosed with cancer 3 months earlier to this hospitalization, he had been undergoing radiation and chemotherapy in an attempt to reduce the size of the lung tumor enough to allow the surgeon to remove it with less risk of complications.
All had been going well until the third week of treatment when he was hospitalized with difficulty swallowing, fever and dehydration.
The hospitalization lasted 3 weeks. During this time his ability to consume liquids and food lessened and the decision was reached to have a feeding tube placed externally into his stomach. While the difficult and painful swallowing was attributed to the radiation therapy, diagnostic studies did not substantiate a reason for the severity of his symptoms. He was becoming increasingly depressed and spending most of the day in bed, becoming weaker and weaker.
The family was quite concerned about his condition and prognosis. When I arrived that evening, he was alone.
I only briefly explained what I would be doing as he had seen me work on his wife and was familiar with the process. I told him I would not awaken him when I was done if he fell asleep during the treatment.
I centered and grounded myself and performed a technique I have found useful for anxiety and depression, which I see frequently occur when someone has cancer.
I let go of seeking any particular outcome, allowed compassion to flow from my heart and hands, and worked with him for about 25 minutes. When I left, he was sleeping.
I returned the next morning and his wife met me at the door. She said excitedly, “You won’t believe it! He is sipping liquids and ate 2 bites of scrambled eggs.”
I entered the room and was amazed at the change in his mood and outlook as well as his energy level. I sat at one side of the bed and his wife on the other.
We were chatting when suddenly he began to cry uncontrollably, choking out the words, “I don’t even know why I am crying.”
The man’s wife, my mother, leaned in and said, “Donna always tells me to just let it come out.” Holding back my tears, I added, “It’s okay to not know why Dad.”
This was a major release and relief for him. His recovery time was rapid from that point forward. He insisted the feeding tube be removed, looked forward to physical therapy sessions and gained enough strength to be released from the hospital to home 3 days later.
When I was invited to write the original article in 2000 I asked my father if he would write down his thoughts about the experience and the following is an excerpt of what he said: “I finally decided to let Donna use her skills on me but I didn’t think it would do any good except to make her happy. I was wrong, it did work. It won’t cure my cancer, but it does enable me to concentrate on the rest of my life and family. I still don’t understand how it works, but I do know that it does.”
While not likely many would say my father was living the best life possible, in the context of his prognosis, he went on to live out his final days to the fullest and in a way that was congruent with his values. He openly expressed a new found ability to consider the possibility of life after death, made amends with several family members and died peacefully in his own home, surrounded by loved ones…his best life ending possible.
I truly recognize each time I work with someone what a sacred gift I have been given, to accompany him or her on a personal healing journey. To serve as a vehicle for universal love to flow through my heart and hands. It was a deeply rewarding experience to work with my father during his time in the hospital and in the subsequent weeks before he died.
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